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User blog:VicVague/All Bloodborne and DLC Bosses Ranked Worse to Best by yours truely.
I have horrible timing idk what is up with this table of contents but "hide" it please. I got lazy in terms of doing this, and The Nameless Lancer who is basically untouchable when it comes to making shit and filled the slot I left open. As a result, I look like a tagalong and unoriginal. Goddamnit. Also I'm not doing pictures, because Source editer is so stupid. This wasn’t my idea technically, because everyone has thought of this, but Lancer filled the slot I left open because he has one thing that I don't, ambition. Are there feelings of jealousy and bitterness? Your damn right there are. Wouldn’t you? But that’s something between you and me. You might call it cheap to be naming people, but I don’t care, because I’m admitting that he beat me by a clear mile. But if you liked this list a lot, then feel free to disregard my last sentence. as a disclaimer, I dont "hate" Lancer, even though I mildly make fun of his name here and there. I dont hate him, but I hate how quick he is, and I really hate how smug he's being in the comments. But I'm writing this the same day that I ask him to be my Valentine, so the other half of me loves him deeply. It's all good for now. Feel free to get indignant and complain if you want. I will now talk about each boss from least favorite to favorite. 22. Micolash, Host of the Nightmare The "2nd phase is a rumor around here. People speak of a 2nd room that he goes into and spams A Call Beyond. in my expirience, he never stops running through mirrors. i have to poke him with the Burial Blade and Hunter Axe as he runs around forever. I hate this man with a passion and I hope he gets sickle celling. All and all, though; not muc of a threat. (i don't know why the font is different in this paragraph, but it pisses me off.) 21. Witches of Hemwick This fight is not only not intimidating, but a relaxing stroll through a open room. The witches themselves are pretty pathetic beings who must use their invisible powers to stop you from sending them to a battered women's shelter. The Mad Ones who continue to spawn are tanky, but all you must do to lose them is jog at any speed at any direction before they ultimately forget you ever existed. The witches has a grab attack spell identical to that of a brainsucker that you can avoid by trying to, a little. they also have an AOE that is hard to evade, but they rarely do, so it's still a cakewalk. 20. The One Reborn This corpe made amygdala reject can barely stand up and has a piss-ant offensive strategy. He has a corpse dumping attack that is easily dodged, but all you have to do is kill the bell-bitches and position yourself up its ass with a weapon with ok rally to decimate it's life away. 19. Blood-Starved Beast This flappy, happy camper is very easy to dodge, it's just the poison that is mildly devastating. If he freezes and stares you down for a sec, he's going to grab attack you, that will kill you easily. So doge to the SIDE, and punish. if you have fire paper, he will be toast. Still a pushover. 18. Rom, the Vacuous Spider Rom is the master of bullshit meteor showers that will slam you around really nicely. Rom and I have a love/hate relationship, she loves to fuck with me and I hate it. Watch out for Rom’s Children so they can’t combo you to hell and back. If you get too close for comfort in the 2nd or 3rd phase, she will flaid her body around like a tard fighting for dear life. 17. Living Failures The self proclaimed living failures just spell out downs syndrome. They hit hard, but are easily dodged and parried, except they are on an incline so landing a visceral won’t always work. So you can go back to poking some aliens in a gross garden. Sometimes they will look up at the sky and bring down a gay little meteor shower Rom style to send you in a fucking rage. Not much of a threat. 16. Cleric Beast The Cleric Beast is a very mundane fight to me, but I’ll try to make some not obvious tips. If you find yourself unable to get out of the way of his grab attack, you need to get out of the way of this GAME. Dodge into his swipes and pounds and you’ll do fine, if you also do damage. 15. Vicar Amelia The most annoying part of this fight is the constant screaming, but Amelia is still pretty tough for new game. She hits like a runaway subway and the bulk on her is like striking titanium with a 2x4. Get good at dodging and utilize numbing mist so she can’t heal like a bitch. Very vulnerable to fire since she’s a beast. 14. Amygdala ''' '''Amygdala hits very hard and often. This boss gets destroyed by large weapons. Just do what i did and hang out by it’s inner arms and rack up massive damage by hitting multiple hands at once with the hunter axe or burial blade.This is the kind of boss that you will either destroy or get destroyed by, there is no middle. Btw, don't hit its feet or tail because you’ll be in that fight for a while. Eventually she’ll go all last giant on you and rip off two arms, but you aren’t supposed to be in front of her, so props to her for coming up with that half ass strategy. 13. Mergo's Wet Nurse This Great One is not great by any means, and there is technically two, so this just spells out lies. You want to know what else is a lie? The challenge here. Dodge and get behind her to wail on her. Have good reations so you can dodge the clone in the fog and she's dead easily. 12. Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos This slug moth bitch hits very hard as expected, but to win do this; Find tails. Get in between them. Swing. She really can’t handle it. Make sure you use a good rally weapon to save blood vials. 11. Celestial Emissary These little boys are less than a threat. Mow them all down like wheat before a shredder and wail on the real boss even when he gets a lot bigger and keeps the same attacks. It's over before it began. NEXT. 10. Shadows of Yharnam These three are somewhat opf a challenge if you can't handle three slow gankers. Keep an eye on all three and parry the shit out of the swordsman wannabe. Beat the shit out of the candle wielding Nazgul to make the final phase even less taxing. You can pay the reach they have gained no mind whatsoever because you're going to dodge through them and make them feel pretty silly. The ground is also home to a large ass den of giant snakes who will pop out from everywhere and slam you around if you suck. They are very easy to dodge and shouldn't get hit by any if you want to brag about this fight, even though dodging the giants isn't a brag exackly, but I won't judge. ' '(I'm just salty that "The Identityless Poker" (Lancer) beat me to this. I'll get over it, because it's funny that I'm pissed about this. I was thinking about using my talented vocal cords to do this, but that would take more work. Next Boss.) 9. Laurence, the First Vicar This boss is immune to fire, so if you apply fire paper or use molotovs then you should consider yourself very disabled. Be careful about the lingering fire and go Dark Souls 101 on him to poke him once before backing the hell up. Eventually he will fall apart at the waist and become a lunatic, fire verson of a rotted corpse from the sewers beneath Central Yharnam. Dodge through his arms and cripple his ribcage some. Don't get bruned to death, even though it's pretty damn obvious. 8. Martyr Logarius Prepare to get pinned down by rows of projectile bullshit. Get up close with a stagger heavy weapon and don’t allow him to cast many spells. Eventually, he’ll gain hyper armor and wreck you with a scythe. Very easy to parry though. At ⅓ health he will go into phase 2 and be more aggressive and sometimes; bullets will literally be deflected because fuck you. If he puts his sword in the floor, just hit it once, or you will get impaled to death. 7. Darkbeast Paarl I hate it when Paarl blasts my ass to grass with his bullshit AOE. Darkbeast Paarl is one of my harder bosses because of the goddamn spamming. Parrl is still my favorite boss however. He sounds fucking exhilarating and I love smashing his bones to pieces. He moves so quickly and is visually picturesque. Dodge though his swipes and attack his head a lot. Cannon works well when he's charging the AOE as he will lower his head for you to blast him in the jaw. 6. Father Gascoigne The noob killer Gascoigne is a very cool boss. I love how aggressive he is, but I frequently come out of this fight with zero damage on me. If you can parry and dodge well, then you'll have this man in the bag easily. I love to position myself up his ass all the time and be twice as aggressive, works well. 5. Gehrman, The First Hunter The first nazi hunter is a very cool fight. He is kinda hard to dodge but managable if you know what your doing. Don't try to poke him too much in his first phase because he will launch you ten feet into the air and reap your ass to death. In his 2nd phase with the shotgun and one handed blade, he has a multi slash combo followed with a concentrated shotgun blast that is guarenteed to put you in viceral attack state, even if you weren't arming an attack. Parry his combos and decimate him. Watch out for his AOE and don't get too aggressive. 4. Ludwig, the Accursed and Holy Blade The guardian of the Moonlight Greatsword is a very tough boss, and not cool to have been the first in the DLC. The first phase has a lot of one shot moves and is very unpredictable. Dodge through a majority of his attacks and be conservative about punishing him. In his 2nd phase, he uses the Holy Moonlight Sword to "smight" your punk ass. He has a devastating move descised as a weak AOE. He raises the sword and uses the weak AOE that is basically a popcorn kernal popping, then slams the sword on the ground and sends a bunch of waves that is almost guarenteed to obliterate your health. I'd rather him just carve his wrists open like a pumpkin so I can move on. Cool fight though. 3. Orphan of Kos The young version of Benjamin Button is very powerful. He likes to take his vagina flail and beat you into the earth as me jumps around the battlefield and screams nonstop. I have one way you can destroy this boss. 1. Get a gun. 2. put it in your hand. 3. wait for him to try and hit you. 4. pull the trigger. I know it's hard to do, but you should try it out sometime. It works well. I'm not saying he's easy, because I died 15 times to this whining, bitching whore. Embrance parrying and wreck his day. In Phase 2, he sprouts two floppy wings and gains soem air attacks that can be dodged by trying to, kinda. I recommed listening to SECRETS by Scarlxrd when fighting this bitch. 2. Moon Presence The secret final boss, is not as hard as Gehrman, but still a challenge. If your good at fighting Ludwig, Blood Starved Beast, and Darkbeast Paarl, then this won't be too difficult. He has combos and such, but are easily dodged and punished. He has an AOE that will no matter what, take your health down to 1 HP. Heal twice and hull ass to him to get in as much damage as you can. He has his version of the numbing mist that takes your ability to heal away, which is a load of shit. He's not very hard, but he is a blood vial strainer for sure. 1. Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Wasn't it obvious? Who else deserves this spot? Lady Maria is an amazing fight. My favorite youtuber refered to her as an Anime looking boss, and I agree. She has breasts, swords, badassness, and it feels magical! She fights with unmatched grace and can easily punish if you don't know how to dodge. She doesn't take bullets to the face very well, so parrrying is the way to go. She truely feels like a lovely fight, because when she kills me, I don't get mad, I get excited about being able to fight her again. She isn't hard by any means, but that doesn't mean she can't sometimes be punishing. There's my list. Feel free to have your opinions and judge me for being salty about The Unidentified Cavalryman (Lancer) beating me to this and likely everything else. Zack Treadway (talk) 02:59, February 15, 2018 (UTC)Zack Treadway Category:Blog posts